Breathing Without You
by breathewithoutyou
Summary: One-shot. To the song Breathe Taylor Swift . Edward's POV based during New Moon. He thinks about her every day. He wonders if he should go back to her. He misses her. He takes each day one breath at a time. His heart will heal. One breath at a time


**Author's Note: I wrote this probably 3 months ago and was looking through my files when I got the urge to finish it. A one-shot to the song Breathe (the song inspired my pename) by Taylor Swift. Based during New Moon. Edward's POV. Not my best, but I like it! Hope you do too! Pleaseeee review! **

_I see your face in my mind as I drive away, _

I won't do that to her. I refuse to. To condemn her to this life would be the worst thing I could

ever do.

Her face.. that's all I can think about it. How her face fell when I told her I was leaving. Then, when she finally understtod what I meant... God, I love her so much. I miss her so much.

_Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way._

Everyone is upset, Alice keeps thinking of the vision she saw of Bella as a vampire. No, I won't go. No this is for the best. She will move on. With that Jacob boy. No. With me. Wait. Stop. You cannot go back.

_People are people,  
And sometimes we change our minds._

How did she believe me? I told her I didn't want her, I didn't love her and she believed me. Like I had said the sky is blue, How could she doubt me?

_But it's killing me to see you go after all this time._

I can't do anything without her. I don't want to live like everything is fine when my heart is tearing in the inside.

Mmm mmm mmm  
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm  
Mmm mmm mmm  
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie,  
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see.  
Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down,

Just like Romeo and Juliet. A bad ending. A sad ending. Atleast she has her song. I shouldn't have left it she needs to forget. Forget about me. Forget about my family. She needs to forget.

_Now I don't know what to be without you around._

She was my whole world. I don't know who I am without her. I am lost._  
_

_And we know it's never simple,  
Never easy.  
Never a clean break, noone here to save me._

She will get a clean break. I won't. It's as simple as that. For her. She doesn't need me. She will forget all about me. I will never forget. I will never forget how her cheeks redden when I look at her. How her heart beats like a hummingbird when I kiss her. How her hair shines in the sun. How she gets a cute look when we fight. Fought. When we fought. When I kissed her. How her cheeks reddened when I looked at her. The past. It will never happen. Again.

_  
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,_

I know everything about her. How she fidgets when she's bored. She taps her fingers when she's annoyed. How she loves me. No, she's only human. I don't know how she loves me.

_  
And I can't,  
Breathe,  
Without you,_

I am very thankful that I don't have to breathe. Each time I try to the place where my heart should be... aches. It's painful. I feel like a part of me is gone. I don't know if I can do this.

_  
But I have to,_

I can do this. I can live without her. She is just a silly little human. But, why can't I stop thinking about her? I keep imagining I am back in the forest. She is so angry. She keeps yelling at me.

_  
Breathe,  
Without you,  
But I have to._

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.

How could I do this to her?

_  
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve. _

She will be okay.

_  
But people are people,  
And sometimes it doesn't work out,_

We wouldn't have worked. There were only three options. A. She dies. B. She's changed. C. She grows old with a never changing vampire, never having kids or a real physical relationship. None of the options were adequate for Bella. For my Bella.

_  
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out._

Instead I chose option D. Leave and never go back. It was the best choice, the only choice.

_  
And we know it's never simple,_

_Never easy._

This was the hardest thing I could ever do, but it is for the best for her. It's all for her. My reason for living was fo her.

_  
Never a clean break, no one here to save me._

My whole family pretty much hates me now. They hate me and they pity me. Alice just hates me. She loved Bella. She doesn't even get how I feel. The one person I could relate to before all Bella now hates me. _  
_

_You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,_

I know everything about her.

_  
And I can't,  
Breathe,  
Without you,  
But I have to,  
Breathe,_

I have to live. She would want me to. Maybe not. She probably doesn't even remember me by now. I left a few months ago. She has moved on. She had to move on.

_  
Without you,  
But I have to._

It's two a.m.

I miss her. I remember hearing my name murmured from her sleeping lips in the middle of the night. I remember the hushed "I love you's" so we wouldn't wake Charlie. I remember how it feels to hold her while she's asleep. Looking so calm and so peaceful.

_  
Feelin' like I just lost a friend._

I lost everyone the day I lost her.

_Hope you know it's not easy,  
Easy for me._

I hope she knows I think of her. I hope she knows.

_It's two a.m.  
_

I turned to look at the red light on the dashboard. 2 a.m. Esme and Carlisle would be worried. I never stay out all night, but it doesn't matter anymore.

_Feelin' like I just lost a friend.  
Hope you know this ain't easy,  
Easy for me._

She doesn't even realize how painful this is for me. 

And we know it's never simple,  
Never easy.  
Never a clean break, noone here to save me.

Ohhh

I can't,  
Breathe,  
Without you,  
But I have to,  
Breathe,  
Without you,  
But I have to.

Sorry (oh) Sorry (mmm)  
Sorry (eh eh) Sorry (mmm)  
Sorry (eh eh) Sorry (mmm)  
Sorry

I just want to tell her that I'm sorry. I want to tell her that I love her and I want to beg her to take me back. I'm so close to my Bella. I see the exit to Forks on the dark abandoned road. I almost turn into it after all I just drove about 4 hours to get here, but I just breathe and turn back around. Just keep breathing. That's all I can do for her now. _  
_


End file.
